How Intuitive Eating Gave Me Food Freedom

I was stuck. 

Not in a terrible place compared to where I’d come from, but still — it was less than ideal. 

About 6 years after hitting my rock bottom, I found myself at a plateau in my healing journey. 

I was no longer purging or avoiding wearing a bikini or forcing myself to workout twice a day, but food intake remained a constant source of anxiety. Though I would rarely admit it even to those closest to me, I continued to have secret goals to control my eating habits. 

I was obsessive about hitting my Apple Watch calorie target; I did juice cleanses; I dabbled with intermittent fasting — all of which only worsened my confidence and furthered me from my food freedom goal.

In other words, I was still constrained by disordered eating and body dysmorphia.

For almost two years, I floated around in this limbo. Some days, I felt relatively healthy and happy with myself. On others, my lack of self-worth would send me right back to unsustainable habits I thought I’d kicked long ago. 

My biggest concern at the time was that this was the most “healed” I’d ever be. Sure, it was livable, but I still longed for a guilt-free burger and a carefree drink — things I hadn’t experienced in almost a decade. 

Luckily, it turns out that not only was more healing possible, but it was coming. And it all came down to one little book that was given to me by a friend.  

The book was Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Anti-Diet Approach (note of caution: beware of social media influencers using the principles improperly (e.g., as a dieting tool); the original book COMPLETELY rejects ALL forms of dieting and restriction).

It’s no exaggeration to say that after reading just the first chapter I began to notice improvements in my relationship with food to a level that had not been matched by anything else I’d done throughout my whole journey.

With the help of intuitive eating principles, things like eating chocolate and chips without guilt, honoring hunger cues, and taking rest days from the gym gradually started to become more normal. And, perhaps most importantly, the book helped restore a level of gratitude and love for food that I had given up on, having failed to experience it for almost a decade.

There are still lots of times when a day of “overeating” will get me down, but the “pity party” is much shorter now and the underlying confidence that has accompanied the transformation feels as unshakeable as ever.

And I call that a win.