Learning to love all your angles

Tight chest. Racing heart. Welling tears. 

For many years, this was my body’s reaction to seeing its stretch marks, unflattering angles, and cellulite. I lived in fear of the sight of my body’s imperfections. 

So I averted my gaze. I’d avoid looking in the mirror unless I was already sucking in. I tried to keep photos to a minimum. I steered clear of store fitting rooms with harsh lighting. I almost never wore shorts or a bathing suit. 

Avoid, avoid, avoid was my terribly ineffective coping mechanism.

I thought if I could just trick myself into believing my body was free of these imperfections, the stress related to them would ease up. 

Obviously, avoidance had the opposite effect. When I caught glances of myself in the odd store window or happened to see my stretch marks while getting dressed, the panic it induced got increasingly worse. 

It sucked. Living in fear of your own body really sucks. 

It wasn’t until I started following body positive influencers — who embrace all their imperfections — that something started to change in me. 

I was regularly seeing girls on my feed that also had cellulite, stretch marks, and muffin tops. 

They were still gorgeous and healthy-looking. 

So I decided to try something scary. Everyday, I forced myself to look at my body, take a deep breath, and ease into feeling. Then, I smiled. 

The amazing thing about smiling is that whether it’s genuine or not, it makes you feel happier. Though I didn’t know it at the time, just by looking at myself in the mirror and smiling, I was building a healthy mental association between my imperfections and an uplifted mood. 

Obviously, the results weren’t immediate — these practices always take a long time to produce benefits. But it’s a good reminder that insecurities left ignored and untended to will only worsen. Shining a light on them in a light-hearted way is often the fastest way out the other side, regardless of how long they’ve been eating away at you. 

This is just one piece of the puzzle on my journey to body acceptance. But it’s an important one that can also be used to cure other fears. Forcing yourself to smile before giving a presentation or taking an exam can also bring a much-needed swell of relief in these stressful moments. 

Just more proof that laughter is, in fact, the best medicine.