Learning to Go With It

One of the most helpful things a friend can do is give you feedback. 

Even if you think you’re an exceptionally introspective and self-aware person, I can almost guarantee that the people around you will notice things about your behavior before they creep into your awareness (if they ever do). 

Last weekend, a friend—who I recently started semi-seeing—did just that for me. 

I generally think of myself as an open-minded and relatively easy-going person. Over the last few years, I’ve learned to focus more on the journey than the outcome and be receptive to life’s direction changes. 

What I didn’t realize, is that I only really do that for some things. For others, I’m actually quite rigid. 

My career is one place where I’ve been able to release my fixation on the end goal. I’m continually networking and upskilling, and though I have a vague idea of where I’d like to head, I’m open to changing my mind and know that whatever path I have in mind at the moment is unlikely to be the one I actually end up treading. 

Relationships and love is one where I’ve had a harder time letting go. 

As I mentioned in my last post, there are people that I love and am drawn to who are polar opposites. My close circle is incredibly diverse, and that includes the people I’ve dated or had relationships with. Trying to pin down my ‘type’ would be a next-to-impossible task. 

The rigidity comes in at the people I end up giving a proper chance to. Instead of starting with asking myself how I feel when I’m with this person, I begin by asking myself whether I should let myself like this person. 

As I’m sure many of us do, I have a clear idea of what the qualities that are ‘acceptable’ for a long-term partner are, and have been resistant to let myself stray from those—even when it might serve my soul and my journey to do so. 

Part of me feels justified in doing that—it feels emotionally irresponsible to let myself develop feelings for someone I can’t see myself co-creating a future with. 

But this ‘friend’ called me out for writing our fate in the stars instead of letting things unfold organically. And it got me thinking, what would happen if I let my gut and my heart lead?

Maybe lots of heartbreak. Maybe beautiful things. Maybe both. 

I’d like to see.