Am I Confident Or Just Hiding Behind the Beauty Industry?

I consider myself to be a relatively confident woman. 

Most days, I like the way I look and feel. I’m proud of myself and my accomplishments. 

But recently, I’ve been reflecting on what it means to be truly self-assured. If confidence is dependent on any one thing—a job title, a degree, eyelash extensions—does that count as confident? Or does the very need to do insert-thing-that-puts-a-pep-in-your-step to feel confident mean that you’re not? 

The truth is, I don’t know. 

As someone who works part-time in the beauty industry, I’m regularly exposed to the depths women are willing to go to alter their appearances. 

From nail extensions to spray tans to Botox, it’s starting to seem like most women walking around are doing something to boost their looks. Obviously, it’s not our ‘fault’—the beauty standards placed on us are overwhelming. 

Why am I pondering all this now? Well, last week, I also took a step forward in the appearance-altering direction. After months of deliberating, I decided to bite the bullet and get hair extensions. 

To be honest, I’m thrilled with my decision. I feel great—amazing, even. I love the way the locks frame my face and give me an effortless, mermaid look. 

I may have liked my pre-hair glow-up appearance, but I like it so much more now. 

And, the thing is, once you start these kinds of changes, going back becomes challenging. After a year of getting my nails done—feeling like my fingernails are wearing little stilettos at all times—my hands without them feel empty. The same thing, I’m sure, will happen with the hair extensions—I’ll feel like I look two strands away from being bald once they’ve been removed. 

So, the question I’ve been lamenting this week is, when does it get to be too much? 

Is it a monthly dollar figure that tips things into this-is-getting-ridiculous territory? A certain number of hours of maintenance? Or is everything fair game until a permanent change, like plastic surgery, is done? 

Obviously, there is unlikely to be a firm answer to any of those questions. The connection between confidence and beauty is tricky, and the nature of that dynamic is different for everyone. 

So, while I don’t have a real conclusion to end this note on, I’ll share where I’ve landed for now: 

• Working on our confidence from within is a great priority to have

• Looking good to feel good can work sometimes—but it can also be taken too far

• Everyone needs to feel out their comfort levels when it comes to beauty maintenance

• Reflecting as you make changes is important

• Surround yourself with people who bring out your inner beauty—your energy radiates to the outside as well 

My hope for everyone is that, one day, they feel happy and comfortable in their own skins—even if it takes a bit of safe and manageable upkeep to get there. 

The world would be a much more content and peaceful place.